guilt stricken sobbing

what do i mean to you now?

Mon, 26 Sep 2005 02:30:31 GMT

artiificialstars: like even when im sitting standing whatever next to him im sad because i know im going to have to leave him for a while i feel like im never going to see him ever again when he leaves.
artiificialstars: i just like serioulsy wanna marry him so we can be together right now forever and we never have to leave eachother

fdasfdsa

Mon, 26 Sep 2005 00:27:35 GMT

just testing this :]

love you alot.

Tue, 06 Sep 2005 01:54:31 GMT

hes mine forever.

things will get better.

Sun, 28 Aug 2005 21:12:41 GMT

you broke it again.

UNSELF CONTROLABLE; CHANGE.

Sun, 21 Aug 2005 23:19:38 GMT

that has to be the cutest picture alive.

i can see hollie going EWWW in the backround.:] idc.

so i lied, im going to update before school starts.

i have to admit, i am scared because i dont really get my schdeule i will have to talk to my cousin about that, but other than that im stoookkkked, on meeting new people, but hate being so busy. i did make the freshman basketball team, congrats to all the other ladies, i love you all to pieces:* im number fourteen. first game sept 7th 6 at john glenn, for more information contact me;) anyways these past couple of weeks have been hectic as helllll. i kinda hate it, but then i love it.

i got my new shoes, and i feel spoiled i got alot of new school clothes this year.

excuse the sizes.

all 5 kinds i dont like the hott ones.:] to bad steve cant share them with meeeeee.:[

here are some from cedar point.

i'll school you are pool. anways one day it rained and so all the kids got a cabin and they left katie, emily, and i in the freakin tent, apparently, they tried to wak us up but we didnt do anything, i was like why didnt you hit me or something, i was so pissed:]

here are some from the past weeek.

lol, possibly i said something bad?

janeyssa's 'sad face'

they missed me:] and jamiee and i went to see dukes of hazard with maattt and aaron, its not that good, but we made fun of this guy he was all alone has like 8 stuffed animals with him and a bag of popcorn and pop, it was just had to be there, it was better than the movie.:]

anyyyyways. comment for janeyssa?:] oh and please do this.

o1. Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
o2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
o3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
o4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
o5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
o6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
o7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
o8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.

ohh, and even if we rnt together, my heart still remains with you:*

1.99 + ten cents deposit.

Tue, 09 Aug 2005 17:40:54 GMT

attention attention, i have come to find out that i have some long hardcore eyelashes.:] actually i always knew, just never told anyone, ha. this might be a long update because i dont think im going to update until school, wait yes i will, i will update or maybe just edit, no i will update if i make it and edit if i dont, okay. thursday im leaving for cedar point you will miss me i know, dont deny it.:] i come home saturday, then sunday im going to jades. then 15-17 basketball tryouts. the 18th registration, omfgggz, thats for sure. thats crazy. i will come home friiday, and then well we have thirteen days until school, and until its 8 months for me and my baby, so i will probably update about all that good stuff. im getting sick of my mom, shes dumb, im not going to complain anymore about that, because i could go on for hours at a time.:] my bestfriend cheslay wants her tounge pierced, and so do i, but she is like freaking out over it, its so cute. i want alot pierced, haha nothing sexual, you pervs.:], i over use smiley faces, and when im gone im going to miss my boyfriend, alot, alot alot, but i know cp will be fun, but he better be good, or he knows what he loses;],:], gosh im a nerd. oh well maybe this wasnt going to be as long as i thought it would be, everyone have a great the rest of the summer.

I am the smallest hypocrite

I've been undeniably jealous

I have been loud and pretentious

I have been utterly threatened

heaven forbid I be criticized

heaven forbid I be ignored

Sun, 07 Aug 2005 05:56:08 GMT

summer is coming to an end, im really scared, yet really excited at the same time, i want school to come, but then i dont want the summer to end, i just remember last summer, and then this summer, its just really weird, having something pass so fast, i guess time goes fast when your having fun, meeting new people, and being with the people that you love. i went to erins, look at the photobucket, you'll find some funnies in there, i had alot of fun, and i thinks sunday im going to jades party, finally get to meet thee fabulous aaron, then im stay with my grandma for a week, greaat, so if you wanna do something, please, please tell me now.i do not want to be there for a week, ill probably ask jamiee if i can stay at her house, because we have basketball tryouts, good luck to all the ladies who are trying out, i wish you the best.im really excited for cedar point. +(one boy one girl two hearts their world.)

am i still your charm or am i bad luck.

Tue, 02 Aug 2005 20:16:32 GMT

i want this camera, mine is definatly a piece compared to this one. its my parents so i guess i use it alot, more than they do, damn 800 dollar camera just sitting around, hell ill use it. im really getting exciting for school, but then again i like just sitting around being a little lazy. i do love my boyfreind no matter what he does, i guess im just in love so much, that i want this to last that no matter what happens im going to forgive him, i know he will try harder, i hope. i guess it was a mistake, im pretty sure it was i wasnt there so i cant say what happend purposfully happend, i love making people guess about stuff that has happend its so mysterious. i dont think thats spelled right. yes, i am in love. hes mine if any of you want him, you have to deal, well with me before you even come close to getting him, ha.kknowww what im sayyying. i found out how to spell weird correctly thanks to my best friend jad.

If I could take your pain away
I would scream for you
I would bleed for you
So you’ll never feel this way
Again when you’re in my arms
I would scream for you
I will bleed for you

Mon, 01 Aug 2005 20:30:42 GMT

I've made a commitment
I'm willing to bleed for you
I needed fulfillment
I found what I need in you

Mon, 01 Aug 2005 00:37:00 GMT

ive cried enough tears to last a life time over you,boy. you lie, you cheat, you are the most wonderful person alive, id still die for you, if it came to that, you need to change your ways, please dont forget anything that we have had, i know i wont, the memories will last, i have to forget us, i cant believe i was a fool, i cant believe i fell for you and your lies, i love you, but i hate you, love is a complicated thing. my trust level with guys is hateful. forget the previous entry, 7 months down the drain. GOD I MISS YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING.

Fri, 29 Jul 2005 19:49:49 GMT

you got it,7 months today, i love my boyfreind :*, anyways i got a new journal a month earlier than i assumed, i was going to get one for school.aha anyways i just had some random thoughts, i want a tatoo on the inside of my lip. i want my ears pierced three more times on each ear then on my right one i want, hmm that little thing that is in your ear well not in but its on the side, no clue what it is if you couldnt tell, and then on my left i want my cartilage twice, because my right one got infected because i pierced it so many times.p.s. im really really excited for school, and a little scared also.my week has been fun but now its over, short simple update for no reason, i got a new screename also, well ive had it, just decided to use it.

you shouldchokee :)

also, if you want to be added add me ill add you back with pride, or just tell me too and ill just add you with pride :) [current age ]: 14 [ loc ]: bay city [ height ]: 5'0 [ siblings ]: step brother soon to have a baby step sister. [ Siblings age ]: 7 and soon to be. [ pets ]: two cats, two dogs, and some fish. [ eye color ] : blue [ hair color ] : differnt colors [ artistic? ] : mmm, ya. [ boyfriend/girlfriend now ]: boyfriend.:) [ color of your room]: orange,pink,yellow,purple. [ what were u doing 15 mins ago ]: eating, and with my love. [ u drink ]: no [ u shy or outgoing ]: both [ had fun this summer ]: coulda been better but ya. [ feature you notice first ]: teeth,eyes,personality, [ looks/personality ]: personality [ piercings ]: ears. and the ones i want are in my lj entry,currently. [ tan or fair ]: tan [ age difference limit]: 17 [ smart/dumb ]: smart [funny/serious ]: ahah, both. MORE ABOUT ME .. [ chocolate milk, or hot chocolate ]: chocolate milk [ mcdonalds or burger king ]: BURGER KING. [ coke or pepsi ]: coke [ would you wanna marry your best friend or the perfect lover ]:well, of course because my love is my bessssssssstest freind. [ tea/coffee/cappuccino ]: cappcuccino [ cats or dogs ]: cats, or both k, dark, or white chocolate? ]: milk [ sunny or rainy ]: both [ summer/spring ]: summer [ bunk or water bed ]: water bed RELATIONS .. [ Best friends ]: jad,ashley,steve,laura,aaron,zach. [ close/good friends ]: ^^up there [ Friends that you look like ]: none, but people say ive looked like someone before. [ Who you go to for advice the most ]: laura. [ skinniest ]: ashley [ funniest ]: me and laura, possibly jad. [ nicest ]: they are all nice [ shortest ]: me.ha, but probably ashley. [ tallest ]: hmm, aaron. [ changed your life the most ]: steve,laura [ color ]: green [ movie ]: the notebook, the last samurai. [ subject ]: math. [ ocean or pool ]: pool [ laugh or cry ]: laugh [ silver or gold ]: gold [ diamonds or pearls ]: diamonds [ sunset or sunrise ]: sunset [ showers or baths ]: shower [ food ]: pizza [ snack ]: hmm, cookies [ board game ]: PPOOOO FUCK THIS GAME, MONOPLOLY OF COURSE. [ all-time song ]: armor for sleep- car underwater [ holiday ]: my birthday. [ movie star ]: hmm, lots. [ magazine ]: i forgot. [ brand of sneaker ]: hmm, dont care. [ fruit ]: lots. [ juice ]:apple. DO YOU ..? [ do you like school ]: ill see this year, but yes i do. [ do you like to talk on the phone ]: laura [ do you have your own phone line ]: no [ do you like to dance ]: yeah LAST TIME YOU .. [ last time u showered ]: hmm this morning. [ went running ]: last week [ worked out ]: last week [ danced like a frickin idiot ]: all the time [ went to a movie ]: hmm whenever charlie and the choclate factor came out [ talked on the phone ]: my mom [ wished u were sumbody else ]: yep. [ where would you love to travel to? ]: paris [ whats ur middle name? ]: birttany [ is ur hair color natural? ]: nope [ do u have a cell phone? ]:nope [ whats ur online screen name ]: youshouldchokee [ what do u want to do with your life?]:alot. [ last time u went to the doctor ]: like two days ago. [ do u have a credit card ]: no [ do u consider urself a "nice" person ]:hmm, yep, kinda. [ last book ]: the earth my butt and big other round things. [are u stressed out? ]: no [ do u believe in angels? ]: yes [ what are u driving now? ]: umm.. walking [ u help pay for it? ]: i guess walking is free. [ do you think your spoiled? ]: yep. [ do u like mustard? ]: hmmmm, yes. [ ever been skydiving? ]: i wanna [ number of piercings ]: two LAST PERSON WHO? [ Slept in your bed ]: me [ Made you cry ]: hmm,steve. [ You shared a drink with ]: steve [ You went to the movies with ]: mom and brady [ You went to the mall with ]: whoa, umm. mom. [ Yelled at you ]: mom [ Said they were going to kill you ] haha probably laura. HAVE YOU EVER ... [ Said "I love you" and meant it? ]: all the time, everyday. [ Gotten in a fight]: hmm, what kind [ Been to New York? ]: no [ Been to Florida? ]: yes [ California? ]: no [ Hawaii? ]: no [ Mexico? ]: no [ China? ]: no [ Canada? ]: yes [ Danced naked? ] no [Had a really bad feeling about something and then it happened]: yes [ Wish you were the opposite sex? ]:naw thought about it though. [Had an imaginary friend?]: yep. [ red or blue? ]: red [ Spring or Fall? ]: fall [ Santa or Rudolph? ]: umm, and elf. [ Math or English? ]: math [ What are you going to do after you finish this survey ]: eat [ What was the last food you ate? ]: some chips,mmm. [ High school or college? ]: college [ Are you bored? ]: im occupied noise you heard? ]: tv, and music [ Things you like about a boy ]: ,steveeeee. [ What's on your mouse pad? ]: laura and i. [ Worst feeling in the world? ]: feeling left out, and your heart breaking. [ What is the first thing you think when you wake in the morning? ]: not waking up lol. [ How many rings befor you answer?]: probably two, but if im sleeping like 5 [ Future daughter's name ]: hmmm i dunno [ Future son's name? ]: dunno [ Chocolate or vanilla? ]: chocolate [ Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? ]: pillows, and blankey. [ If you could have any job you wanted, what would it be? ]: actress,phsycologist,a massage pesron,haha,lawyer, i think thats about it lol. [ Are you a lefty, righty or ambidextrous? ]: ambidextrous. [Do you type with your fingers on the right keys? ]: yes [ What's under your bed?]: nothing [ Glasses/contacts ]: glasses, i dont wear them. [ Are You Timely Or Always Late ]: early [ Do you have ajob? ]: no,i need one,haha. [ Do you Like Being Around People ]:hmm, kinda. I AM: in love I WANT: my boyfreind I HAVE: a passion for music I WISH: i was nicers I HATE: liars and backstabbers ; when people talk behind your back I FEAR:spiders,oceans,lakes,ponds,ferriswheels, losing someone i love. I WONDER: about everything everyday I REGRET: hmm,alot. I LOVE: laura,steveeeeeeeee,:* I ALWAYS: think. or sing I AM: always curious I DANCE: all the time I CRY: easily I AM NOT ALWAYS: tierd. I LOSE: alot.